"I always looked forward to when my dad would take me down to his content farm in the country.
As a kid, I'd watch in awe as he laboured to pick the finest content, hew it to shape, and lovingly format it to fit the appropriate outlet... just as his own father had done, and his father before him.
Now it's my turn to uphold our rich family heritage of content creation and craftsmanship.
Let's go there together, to where the huckleberry grows wild, and the content shimmers in the dawn light."
Sigmund Stern is from Sydney, Australia. He has a BA/LLB from UNSW and went to Sydney Boys' High School. He is a longtime contributor to The Onion and is currently working on a card-based humor game. He also enjoys wiping invisible windshields in scenic locations.